Crisp Sandwiches

I’ve been eating a lot of these lately for some reason, perhaps because they’re tasty and quick to make, more likely because there’s been, knack-all in the fridge.  My missus commented that she had never even had a crisp sandwich, till she met me, and that got me thinking, about the whole concept.  If you’re new to the idea, here’s my personal guide to the history and construction of the crisp sandwich.

I’m almost positive that crisp sandwiches were invented in the late 70’s. Back then, you see, crisps weren’t the 45 pence a bag, spawn of the devil that they are today. No, crisp’s were a bribe. A reward for going to church on a Sunday night. On the way back, from the longest 45 minutes of the week, our Dad would pick up a couple of bags of crisps from the off-sales, (and sometimes a pineapple juice for my Mam.) And that was basically our Sunday night supper. A crisp sandwich, a glass of milk and then off to bed.

Once crisps broke the 10 pence a packet, barrier our Dad refused to buy them. Shortly afterwards, we also distanced ourselves from the church.  A coincidence? You decide.

Back to the sandwich. King of the crisps in our house were Tudor, and yes you did get more crisps in the bag. Remember this?

And this is the recipe. First off, you need to choose your flavour carefully. Something with a real kick. Salt and Vinegar, Pickled Onion, Tomato Sauce that sort of thing. Next, a tea plate and white bread, (2 slices) buttered. The butter is very important, because you need it to bond with the crisps. It is quite literally the mortar keeping the thing together. If you’ve just got marge… you’re knackered I’m afraid.

Then you’ve got to try and get the entire packet onto a single slice of bread. Pile them all high, place the top slice carefully on the top and then squash the whole lot down flat, with the palm of your hand. You’ll now understand why only butter will do. And that’s it… apart from you’re not allowed to cut it. Oh no. It has to be eaten like that with two hands, no triangles or any of that nonsense.

Anyway now that Pepsico have bought out all the other crisp manufacturers, you’ll probably have to use Walkers. However you may like to try something a little more cosmopolitan, like Monster Munch, Chipsticks or Wotsits.

Bon Appetit.

(Next week on cookery corner… sugar sandwiches and milky coffee.)

By Dave on October 22, 2009

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6 Comments RSS Comment Feed

  1. The crisp sandwich is indeed a wonderfull thing.
    For me,the sound it makes when you push down the bread is almost as good as eating it.

    Comment by fatcap — October 30, 2009 @ 12:37 am

  2. Tell, ye what… you are completely and utterly right. That, ultimately satisfying, compacting crunch is almost…almost mind… as satisfying as getting the whole packet of crisps within the pre-defined eating area.

    Point of interest-ish!!! When making crisp sandwiches with the “corn snack” type crisps, ye’ monster munch and ye’ chip sticks… y’ve got to be a lot more precise with yer construction.

    Comment by Dave — November 10, 2009 @ 12:49 am

  3. Wonder if this works across the pond? First off they’re called chips?.. secondly the packets are 3 times the size… y’never gonna get a whole packet of “Lays, sour cream and chive” between 2 slices of white bread…so there’s never gonna be the same sense of achievement.


    Comment by Dave — November 10, 2009 @ 12:55 am

  4. Surely you have neglected to mention the “Health and Safety Warning” associated with the gum slicing, positioning of inadvertently, vertically stacked crisps/chips?

    Comment by Layla — November 10, 2009 @ 1:07 am

  5. Forget I mentioned chips… put that to the back of your mind. (Chip sandwiches are a different fettle of kish completely.) But yes “Warning!! The Construction of Crisp Sandwiches by the inexperienced may result in bleeding gums! That ok?

    Comment by dave — November 10, 2009 @ 1:12 am

  6. Yes. Thank you!

    Comment by Layla — November 10, 2009 @ 1:46 pm

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