Col Mustard Image_Charity Release

Colonel Mustard & The Dijon 5 / The Plimptons – Charity Christmas Release December 10th


Some could call it criminal, others tactical; yet after attempting to switch your ears on to the slick sounding beats of Colonel Mustard & the Dijon Five way back in 2010, it is a public duty for The Northern Line to be reporting again from the front line of this ‘collective madness’. After a long absence from The Northern Line, this unique musical posse of cross pollinating partying, deserves your braincells, limbs and festive spirits once again. They are back, they never went away; if you missed them last time around, investigate them now whilst they’re still hot and not burnt out. This level of dedication will take its toll, but the music will live on, and so might humanity. Tinnitus & Hearing Center of Arizona may have new patients. Kidding.

I remember back in 2009 when the seriously mighty Rage Against the Machine with the Great British Public’s help, fought the powers that be (mainly commodification of pretty much everything) and got Killing In The Name to Christmas Number One. Speaking of the incredible grassroots campaign which toppled X Factor from the top spot Zac De La Rocha said “It says more about the spontaneous action taken by young people throughout the UK to topple this very sterile pop monopoly

This year we have a new contender with a mission – The Dijon’s and special guests latest offering, Christmas Pimping, Everybody’s Gimping. A stomping, ode to the high street, and beyond to not forget the realities going on in your wallet, your liver, and your communities… Look beyond Asda, and the Pogues. Life is for giving whether that be your giro from the DSS,  something bling from Santa, or just the plain goodness in your soul – the sounds of reality on this record seem to suggest that beyond the festive falsities being cashed in, raffled, and discounted, nothing really matters as long as you don’t forget Cliff Richard and give it all up for some ‘gimping action’?!

A truly alternative, fun, charity and Christmas song, this record manages to simultaneously mock, ridicule and celebrate consumerism (available on ITunes) as well as doing much more than what it says on the tin.

Christmas Pimping, Everybody’s Gimping Video

Launch for the Ep will be at Nice N Sleazy on Sauchiehall St Glasgow, Thursday 6th December. The Ep Features a great B-Side from The Plimptons, Christmas All Over This Town which helps to make this a record you could really do with at this time of year whilst pushing a shopping trolley round Tescos. The Plimtons bring more festivities and their own blend of pop punk that sits somewhere between a Scottish sounding Ash and the Buzzcocks… Released on 10th December on Traffic Cone Records and available from all good tax evading digital download sites, The Ep is definitely being sold for a good cause.

This is where the Colonel, his band, and comrades come into their own. Whereas in 2010 we reviewed their fundraising efforts to help an injured motorcyclist return from Thailand in time for Christmas; the release of this EP, is in aid of Caoimhe, a three year old girl. She has Anaplastic Ependymoma with Spinal Metastases, a grade three malignant brain tumour.

To give Caoimhe conventional radiotherapy in this country would leave severe symtons. Blindness, deafness and stunted growth are only some of the side effects. However, Proton Therapy is a targeted revolutionary method of irradiating young children, It is so accurate there are very little side effects, but is not available in this country.

‘We plan to do our wee bit to help take Caoimhe to America so she can receive this treatment. Everybody involved in this e.p, the bands, producer Robbie Gunn, Dixon Street Studios and Video Director Daryl Cockburn have given up their time and effort and every single penny raised will be used for Caoimhe (pronounced Keeva), people can alternatively donate at

With seven festival appearances this summer, Colonel Mustard and The Dijon Five have mutated into a polished outfit since I first witnessed them performing songs that touched on topics as diverse as the alternative lifestyles of Harold Shipman to the trials and tribulations of relationships with a ginger haired girl; that captivate your imagination, and your coordination on the dance floor. This year has been a busy one for them – releasing videos, eps, playing one off guerrilla gigs at historic moments in time (as in the photo I’ve attached of acoustic set at the demolition of infamous Glasgow Red Road Flats) , and generally advancing their cause for a good time, bringing their own surreal blend of mayhem, magically to the mainstream monotony.

With a vocal range falling somewhere between an irate Glasgow taxi driver, an early 90’s indie raver and a Dub music legend, this should not work; on paper it sounds all wrong but believe me… this will put a smile on your face, and in these dark days of December, as we scrape the bottom of our bank accounts, listening to the sounds of the Colonel is maybe just what we could all do with.

Ep Launch Thursday 6th December, Nice N Sleazy, Glasgow.
Release on Traffic Cone Records, December 10th.


Colonel Mustard Soundcloud

Just Giving Page

You Tube Video

The Plimptons

By Tom Manley on December 5, 2012

Check out all the pics

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